LIVE! Cabaret :: 16th February 2004 :: The Script 

(A Transcript from the performance)

Hello Good Evening! Sorry for the delay. For the benefit of you who don't know me, and also for the benefit of anyone in here for whom the memory of a previous performance was undoubtedly so horrific that their brain has now blocked it from their waking thoughts...

... Hi. My Name is Glyn.

It was a bit interesting getting here today. I am coming all the way from Didcot… exciting exotic Didcot. I am sitting on the train and I hear

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your train manager speaking, we are now sitting outside Swindon and, erm, ahead of us there’s a hail train that’s derailed, we have no idea how the f*** it’s going to move or how long you are going to be sitting there”

This is the point when I call Brian, the Livesoc president and say that I might be late, which is good because the guy *here* on the sound desk is pulling his hair out.  

Of course, I get to Temple Meads and I’m like “Late! Sh*t!” So I’m thinking “TAXI!!!! Taxi’s quick!”  So I get in the taxi and the taxi is leaving the station and of course the number 9 bus just comes in over there. Then of course it’s just traffic lights after traffic lights… RED, RED, RED… it’s the colour of my bank account (red, red, red). And of course the bus gets stuck BEHIND me. “Don’t worry!” says the taxi driver “I know a short cut… it’ll be alright!”

….. Which is why I am late this evening.

None of which brings us to our first song. (laughter) Yes, I had a link in there but I took it out.  

Let’s get to it, this one comes from Vancouver Canada . It's by The Paperboys and is called "Molinos". If any of you here speak Spanish that might be useful because you can tell me what the song’s about!

Molinos - The Paperboys

And now for something completely different. The time has come for me to utter those five horrifying words that turns a grown man's bowels to jelly: "Here's one I wrote myself."

The song is all about a guy called Alexander Volkov. At the fall of the Soviet Union he was alone on Space Station Mir. Suddenly ground control just stopped talking to him, and it wasn't clear if anyone would have the where-with-all to come and get him down. Luckilly for him, they did, and he was the last man in history to carry a communist party card. 

This one's called 'Dreaming', and is the first song I ever wrote.

Dreaming

Well kiddies, it's been more fun than a jumpsuit full of weasels, but since the big hand is pointing to 'beer' and the little one to..... [thinks about it] 'more beer' it's time to wrap up my vaguely folkish alternarock set.

For my parting number, I will be playing my newest song. It is in fact so new that I haven't quite worked out exactly what it is all about. Its working title is 'BackDream'.

BackDream

There, I did it. I made it all the way through a set without even once mentioning Geckos or heartbreak. Oops, well only once. Gotta run. Thanks for coming.